


In Time that Stills

by watermealong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Possibly going to be multi chaptered, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 00:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20218576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watermealong/pseuds/watermealong
Summary: It's Jaemin's birthday today, he should at least be able to get what he always wanted, right?





	In Time that Stills

**Author's Note:**

> Song - The Day by Park Hyo Shin
> 
> Happy Birthday to the best boy!

“_On the day when all wind stops _

_ On the day my longing is allowed _

_ With a heart that won’t hold back _

_ I will call out to you _

_ If at the end of this life _

_ That day won’t come _

_ With a name that won’t sleep _

_ I will still call out to you_.”

“Jaemin hyung, happy birthday!”

Chenle’s voice was heard the loudest amongst everybody else, and yet, Jaemin loved how energetic the kid could be even when it was almost midnight on their dorm living room, stomach filled with good food after they ordered boxes of pizzas to stuff their hunger with. 

They had schedules tomorrow so maybe this is why Jaemin was getting an early celebration before the day turns 13th, even when he had a mini celebration at a radio station before where unfortunately, his own birthday cake got tossed on the floor. 

“Oooh, you guys prepared a cake! Thank you, babies.” Jaemin beamed in happiness, his voice rose up a bit higher in excitement, mouth pursed in usual cuteness he usually do. The dream members were all here with him, freshly out of shower just like Jaemin himself. Hyuck looked like he was ready for bed, as well as Renjun who curled himself in a grey hoodie beside him. Jisung and Chenle looked the brightest and have a lot of energy with them while Jeno was all smiles, as if sunshine crafted right on his lips.

“Make a wish, hyung,” Jisung suggested fondly, he was the one that held the cake, face aglow by the candle light. “So we can hurry to bed.”

Jaemin laughed and clapped his hands together, fixing the towel wrapped around his wet hair, then folded them into a praying motion, closing his eyes shut. He didn’t wish for much, just for his family and members health, also for NCT to reach their success. After all, Jaemin knew very well how much hard work his members had put together to be here with him.

Donghyuck reached for Jaemin’s hair and messed with it a little bit, muttering a silent ‘Happy Birthday’ while dragging Renjun along to his bedroom. Renjun pinched his cheek and said something along the lines that Jaemin was lucky they were in the middle of promotion or his face would've been squished to the cake by now, in which Jaemin replied by playfully hitting his bum before the older strolled away with Hyuck.

"Ahh, I want to eat it, but I don't want my face to be bloated in the morning," Chenle pouted his lips and inspected Jaemin's ice cream cake like he wanted to devoured it in a minute.

"Just eat it, Chenle ya, you are cuter with chubby cheeks." Jeno commented, his eyes were smiling as if it was his birthday.

"No, hyung, I'll manage until tomorrow." The orange haired gave up, rubbing his tummy when Jaemin shoved the cake at him.

"For breakfast?" Jisung asked innocently, hands on his pyjamas pockets.

"No, Jisung. We can't have cake for breakfast, you'll hurt your stomach."

"I'd like a cake in the morning, though," Jaemin muttered, licking a stripe of strawberry cream cheese frosting.

"It's okay, hyung. It's your birthday so you can do whatever you want." Chenle grinned widely after nodding his head. 

The dorm somehow become healthier when Chenle started to live with the rest of them. Chenle had a lot of energy, especially in the morning, he'll wake up the earliest and cooked them a lot of veggies although Jisung always magically shoved half of them on Jaemin's plate.

"Okay, you guys, go sleep, long day tomorrow," Jeno said to the kids. He looked cozy with a training pants and white t-shirt, contrast to Jaemin who wore black t-shirt and grey trousers. He turned to gazed Jaemin up with a smile. "Happy birthday, Jaemin ah. I'll give you your present latter."

Jaemin replied with a smile of his own. "Sure, thank you, Jeno ya."

Jisung and Chenle paced back to their respective rooms while Jaemin headed to the kitchen and put the cake inside the refrigerator, Jeno unknowingly trailed behind him.

"Why are you following me? Aren't you tired?" Jaemin asked beratedly, opening the door and shoved the cake inside.

"Uhm," the blonde hasty started, making Jaemin turned to him with a slight frown. "Why don't...you sleep with me tonight?"

"What?"

Jeno looked a bit embarrassed, if Jaemin was being honest.

"You know, we could play games, or something."

Jaemin shook his head. "No, i want to sleep, I'm tired."

"Oh, okay..."

Jaemin smiled when he looked at the rejected expression on his friend's face, he tapped his shoulder then.

"Alright, lovely acorn-jelly, i'll sleep with you tonight."

A gentle smile rose on Jeno's face, he followed Jaemin closely behind.

"Go first, I'll catch up later, need to bring my phone with me." Jaemin announced while Jeno turned the lamp inside the living room off.

They parted then, Jaemin to his and Jisung's shared room, while Jeno to his own. He brought his phone and explained to Jisung that he'll stay with Jeno tonight. When the younger asked why, he didn't have an honest explainable answer.

When he entered the older's room, the owner was behind his computer, hands furiously typing on his keyboard, so Jaemin just flopped himself on Jeno's bed. The size queen bed was perfect when they were still a lot younger. This wasn't the first time they shared a room, almost everywhere, he always had Jeno sleeping beside him whenever they went somewhere, it shouldn't changed now. And yet Jaemin could felt his chest getting cramped. Crowded.

Jeno didn't say a word except a few stolen glances he thought Jaemin wouldn't noticed. So he just played with his phone a little bit before finally decided to call it a night, curling himself and left a space for Jeno to sleep later.

"I'll go sleep first, Jeno. Don't sleep too late." He warned the older, in which he got a silent reply and sound of guns firing from the game being lowered.

Jaemin didn't know why he felt so breathless. It shouldn't. He really shouldn't.

After a while, Jaemin turned around and not facing the direction of where Jeno supposed to sleep. He still had his eyes opened, biting on his lips anxiously and when the space beside him finally filled with another extra weight, Jaemin let his eyes closed.

There laid silent, opened for the whole room to be buried inside the deafening seconds that Jaemin didn't dare to break. He wished he could unfreeze the moment, because at least in his head, it was screaming quiet.

When he felt the bed shifted after much later into the night and thoughts still running wild on his mind, a hand suddenly rested carefuly on his waist, so subtle yet soft, afraid and cautious as if Jaemin was going to break. Jaemin shivered when he felt Jeno closer, their bodies weren't touching but he knew somewhere in his heart that he wished they were.

"Jaemin ah?"

Jaemin stayed still, tried to even his breathing and not moving. He heard the older long sigh, the imagery of what happened three months ago suddenly ran on his mind. They shouldn't be near like this and yet, Jaemin wished they could.

Jeno's hand traveled to wrapped around his stomach, his palm felt gentle and strong, barely touching the material of Jaemin's clothes and yet he could still felt the burn of every longing touch as if they had never touched before. 

"I'm sorry," Jeno muttered quietly, pain in his voice as he rested his head on the back of Jaemin's head in a defeated gesture. "I'm really sorry." He continued. And it was sad, Jaemin felt so sad for him. "Happy birthday, Jaem." 

Jeno kissed the back of Jaemin's neck, silently, quietly, lovingly, and yet, they were barely touching, an answer to all Jaemin's questions.

Jaemin felt like he had lost. Losing a battle he knew he could never win.

Jeno was telling him that he loves him. It was a quiet confession, something that should be read between the lines of years where they knew each other. And he felt sad because his confession was an apology, because that was what they would always going to be.

A mistake.

_ ...It's okay, hyung. It's your birthday so you can do whatever you want. _

Jaemin bite his lips before he turned around rather quickly, letting jeno's hand slipped past his stomach, hanging on air when Jaemin wrapped himself inside the older's embrace, not letting their eyes meet afraid for what he could do with his eyes wide open.

"Just for tonight," He whispered, burying his face on Jeno's chest, hands awkwardly settled around the older's body. 

Jeno went quiet before he finally lowered his hands, sneaked one around Jaemin's head while the other was back to settled on his waist, holding on tightly, as if he was inside a long dream.

"I thought you were asleep--"

Jaemin gripped Jeno's clothes tighter by his fingers, silencing him. "Don't speak anymore," he said, peacefully listening to Jeno's erratic breathing. It was chaos there. "Just sleep."

He felt something shifted, all the façade, all the restrain the two of them had put, of all the smiles; all of it just gone. When you surrender, when you truly gave it up, Jaemin never knew that it could be this liberating, this freeing.

Jeno held him even closer, chin resting on top of Jaemin's head.

"Jaemin-ah." Jeno called out to him, as if asking something important where all he said was Jaemin's name. Just his name and nothing else. Like a prayer.

Jaemin stayed still, trying to not let himself get carried away. It was his birthday today, right? So he should enjoy what he could still have inside the blanket of night, inside of Jeno's embrace where he never knew he could feel this safe and tender, gentle and warm.

"In the morning," Jaemin tried to find his voice, he curled himself even tighter to the other. "Promise me we would still be friends. Nothing changed."

"I promise," Jeno told him, Jaemin could feel his breathing getting shallow. "Just let me hold you tonight."

Jaemin opened his eyes, slowly raked his gaze up to Jeno who already watching him, none of them said a word, but they understood the silent in between, the loud scream inside their hearts that would never cease.

"Good night, Jeno ya." Jaemin buried his face one more time, closing his eyes and taking a deep breathe.

"Good night, Jaemin ah."

There weren't any promises nor answers to what their hearts desire, both of them knew whatever they have would only last for tonight. By the morning, when the sun up and night finally rested, they'll be friends again, they'll smile at each other and be there when things got hard. 

This...whatever this is, stops tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Happiest birthday to the wonderful, kindest, most talented and caring boy, Na Jaemin! I made him sad in this fic, so shall we continue...
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! /bows/


End file.
